I AM HEALTHY
I AM WHOLE
I AM FREE
I AM ENOUGH
Repeat those words again with meaning and power.
April 17, 2015 was a sunny, clear day that marked a massive change in my life. I was sitting at a red light; instantly, a truck going 65+mph struck my car from the rear. My head hit the steering wheel, and the remnant is a traumatic brain injury and still recovering from post concussive syndrome–an invisible injury. Is it a miracle I’m alive? Of course. Am I grateful to still be living? Of course. However, at many points during this journey, I find myself suffering in silence.
There are tons of invisible injuries and illnesses that probe women and men daily. You can be communicating with someone, and the person is suffering. They can have a smile on their face or filled with laughter, and they are suffering. Those who are suffering are constantly affected by the hustle and bustle of life (major and minor areas) that we often take for granted such as walking into a mall, dancing at a club, driving your car, waking up in the morning with full energy, cleared to work, etc.
The question on the table is
“How are you actually doing?”
Are YOU suffering in silence? Do you know someone who maybe suffering in silence? If so, I hear you. I see you. I am you. Internalizing suffering, stress, or worry weakens your immune system and damages your quality of life. So, consider choosing at least one of the ways below to stop suffering in silence during this holiday season. Choose YOU. The list below is not in any order.
1. Be honest with yourself.
One of the most important ways to stop suffering in silence is just to be honest. Do not hide what’s plaguing you. Do not feel weird for not being able to do the “normal” things in life. Honor your feelings. Accept what’s going on with you currently, and do not apologize for how you feel and what you feel. If you are honest with yourself, then you can truly be honest with others and get the help that you need. Also, you are NOT a burden to others; so do not internalize that thought.
2. Share your truth.
It is vital that you share your story. It is important that when you are feeling better that you become the voice for the voiceless. Do not worry about fear. Fear cripples; so leave it at the door. During the holidays, if you are not feeling well, then share your truth. No one knows that you’re suffering if you do not share your truth. In the midst of sharing, remember that there is no excuse for nastiness. We can always share our truth without being rude to others.
3. Set boundaries.
I’ve been learning this all year. You are the only person who is in your body; you are the only person who knows you. So, learn the power of “No.” You will not be able to make everyone happy. So what? You will not be able to go everywhere. So what? You will not be able to do everything. So what? If you are a recovering perfectionist as I am, then you will not be able to do everything right. So what? Setting boundaries is all about being kind to you. By learning to set boundaries, you are learning to say NO to stress, worry, toxicity, unhealthy people, negative thoughts, and fear. Say NO, and set those boundaries.
4. Be prepared.
If you are traveling during the holidays, be prepared. If you have medication, take the pills with you. If you are sensitive to noise and light, bring a pair of sunglasses and earplugs with you. If you need laughter (we all do), put some comedy shows or YouTube videos on your phone/iPad to view. If there are other things that you need whether it’s essential oils, headphones, or a book, bring them. If you know that traveling or being with family requires a ton of energy, then rest before leaving. Benjamin Franklin once stated, “If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail.” I want you to succeed, so be prepared.
5. Prayer and Meditation.
The dynamic duo. Prayer is a gateway to heaven, and prayers are definitely powerful. Give God thanks for how amazing God is, and be sure to tell God your desires or requests. You also can say a quick prayer and ask God’s angels to assist you as well. The second part is active listening–meditation. God speaks to you. Some people contemplate by resting in the biblical Word; others sit and rest in silence with God as the forefront in their mind. As God reveals answers to your prayers by giving you directions, do them (active listening).
6. Shift your Mindset.
This is vital to stop suffering in silence. The victim mentality does not serve anyone. WHY DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME? WHY ME LORD? That does not help you. Also, comparing your life to someone else’s will not help you. Take control of your life. You are given one life; choose to live. Shift your mindset from scarcity and fear to abundance and love. It is important to become aware of what is feeding you. You are a sponge; whatever you see, think, touch, feel, or hear becomes a part of you. Monitor your mind. Choose to love and care for you. To get help with shifting your mindset, sign-up to receive your self-care affirmations. Additionally, choose to be thankful. Gratitude is one sure way to shift your mindset. Through gratitude, you allow the abundance of the Universe to be at your beckon call.
7. Ask for Help.
Asking for help is hard for many people to do. Some people are too shy or too prideful to ask for help. A closed mouth doesn’t get fed. No one knows what you are going through but you. So, ask for help. Ask your family and friends to help you write those invitations, pick up your child from daycare, help you clean-up, etc. Now, do not abuse the help, but if you are truly suffering, your family and friends won’t mind helping. On the other hand, if you need therapy/counseling, seek help. There is nothing shameful about going to therapy. In fact, everyone needs therapy; it can only enhance you and bring out the best in you. Just be ready to look in the mirror. Do not suffer in silence because of pride and fear. Please, take care of you. Note: some insurance companies actually pay for therapy.
8. Play & Laugh.
Laughter is the best medicine. My high school literature teacher once told me, “Don’t take life and yourself so seriously.” That was some of the best advice ever. Therefore, play your favorite games. Go to the park and slide or swing. Your inner child is waiting to come out and play. Life is about balance; when you laugh and play, you feel ALIVE. The suffering goes away, and you feel like a completely new person. I love to laugh (naturally silly), and I definitely love to play; it keeps me young, happy, and healthy. So if you haven’t laughed or smiled in a while, then make that a priority in your life.
Furthermore, I cannot stress this enough. CHOOSE YOU. Choose a better you, a happier you, and a healthier you. Stop suffering in silence. You are healthy. You are whole. You are free. You are enough. Believe it, and eventually, you will see that you actually are.
I want to hear from you. At some point in our lives, we all suffer in silence especially during the holidays. Questions to ponder and post a comment below.
Which of the 8 components resonated with you? How are you going to implement these during the holidays?
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